


Hurt

by CrimsonFirebreeze



Series: Hiddles Diddles [14]
Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Inspired by Music, Self-Harm, Songfic, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-06
Updated: 2013-11-06
Packaged: 2017-12-31 17:38:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1034480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonFirebreeze/pseuds/CrimsonFirebreeze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom finds his girlfriend has hurt herself and panics. Inspired b the Johnny Cash cover of "Hurt"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> So I’m going to say right off the bat that this is has got a massive trigger warning on it for self-harm and suicide. 
> 
> I get it, this is a really shitty way to get back into writing my Tom Hiddleston fics after such a long dry spell and I am probably going to scare the piss out of a few people, but I would like to say that I am FINE. Rather happy actually. 
> 
> This is a songfic. I downloaded a bunch of Johnny Cash and ended up listening to “Hurt” on repeat and was just… moved by it. I;ve had the NIN version for ages and it never appealed to me that much but Johnny Cash… man… just… moving. So this happened.
> 
> I think where it falls in the timeline of the Hiddles Diddles is well before "How to Save a Life", "Ghosts in Her Eyes" and "War". (which all deal with PTSD and self harm as well). I’d say maybe this is Tom;s first encounter with it maybe, poor thing. Maybe he came back after a long day of interviews and meetings and promoting to find her bleeding on the floor of the bathroom. 
> 
> I’m sorry it’s depressing but I was inspired by my own pain, damnit. It just reminded me of the thought process that I personally go through when I get to that point when flashbacks are haunting me and the pain is too much to deal with, on the rare moments that I actually do give in and self harm. So basically, to explain it, the song lyrics are actually her thoughts and the dialogue is what is going on around her.

_I hurt myself today to see if I could feel._

“Sam? Sam!”

_I focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real._

“Oh my god, what did you do?!”

_The needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting._

“Baby, please talk to me! What happened?”

_Try to kill it all away, but I remember everything_

“Stay with me, Kitten! Please, please say something!”

_What have I become, my sweetest friend?_

“Honey, look at me. Eyes on me, keep them on me.”

_Everyone I know goes away in the end._

“I’m right here, Kitten. Talk to me. Please, baby.”

_And you could have it all, my empire of dirt._

“I need you, darling. Please, don’t close your eyes.”

_I will let you down._

“Sam!?”

_I will make you hurt._

“911, what is your emergency?”

_I wear this crown of thorns upon my liar’s chair_

“She is going to be okay, Mr. Hiddleston. But she lost a lot of blood.”

_Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair_

“I was afraid this would happen. Sooner or later.”

_Beneath the stains of time the feelings disappear_

“She didn’t seem off at all. I was blindsided by this.”

_You are someone else. I am still right here_

“Thank god she’s going to make it.”

_What have I become, my sweetest friend?_

“I don’t know if you can hear me right now, darling…”

_Everyone I know goes away in the end_

“…but I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

_And you could have it all, my empire of dirt_

“I’m going to get you through whatever this is.”

_I will let you down_

“I’m not giving up on you.”

_I will make you hurt_

“You mean too much to me.”

_If I could start again_

“We will get through this. I promise.”

_A million miles away_

“I will be right by your side”

_I would keep myself_

“I love you.”

_I would find a way_

 


End file.
